I'm sure you've heard the adage, "Every cloud has a silver lining," at some point in your life. To what extent, however, is this true? Do you always come out stronger on the other side of adversity?
I don't believe so. Sometimes it destroys you rather than building you. Most importantly, the innocent child-like character fades away. And people surrounding you exclaim, "Voila! You are so mature and stronger now!" Maybe, it makes you more mature or stronger, or is it just an illusion? Most importantly, what is the cost you paid to become this version of yours?
We also need to ask ourselves if we are better/stronger than before or if we have just built high walls around us because we are not strong enough to encounter another breakdown in our life.
Some Life Experiences Are Just Terrible!
To put it bluntly, some things that happen in life are just horrible. There is nothing to gain from it. Therefore, we need to stop looking for a silver lining in it. Also, spare yourself from the guilt of not being that positive person who always finds something positive to look at, even in a negative situation. Having a positive outlook is good, but practically, it is not always possible. Furthermore, it takes time.
Taking time to absorb the negative experience and respond to it makes us human. We are not robots programmed to discover something positive in everything.
There is, of course, a logic behind positive thinking. It has numerous benefits for sure, but it is important to accept that it is hard to embrace a positive outlook when your world is upside down.
Should we strive for a positive outlook? Certainly
But remember, it is okay if you do not find anything positive in a negative encounter in your life. It is not a failure of any kind. Having a positive headspace requires a positive environment and time to heal from a negative experience.
For a few people, an instant positive outlook is also possible. However, if you do not fall into that category, just let it be. The last thing that you want to do is fake a positive demeanor when you are breaking from the inside.
What To Do With Your Negative Feelings?
There is a time and space to engage in positive thinking. You shouldn't try to cover up your negative emotions with a veneer of positivity; they are valid experiences that deserve your full attention.
It's important to sit with your negative feelings and emotions, talk to yourself as a friend, and wonder what went wrong.
Imagine a child comes to you complaining that their friends have hurt them. Would you dismiss the child by saying, "But they are still with you even after hurting you. Don't complain, be grateful."
Or would you listen to them, try to understand what went wrong, and then give them a solution to fix the problem?
Take Your Time
Before looking at the brighter side, it is essential to acknowledge the darkness that you are in. What's important is making sure you don't wallow in that despair for too long.
Accept your negative emotion for what it is, reflect on it and cry if you need to, but then let it go. Additionally, keep in mind that this procedure has no ideal time frame. Let it go wherever you are ready. Have patience with the healing process, but do it.
When you've finished recovering, it's time to embrace the upbeat outlook everyone's talking about on social media.