Self Love: Is It An Action To Hide Our Loneliness?

Every day, I read an hour of non-fiction books. The tips and tricks to be happy, to control your mind, heart, the emotions. Sometimes, those reads are scientific but most of the time, it’s about a search to maintain inner calm, peace and happiness. I have this habit of tracking how I spend my time, I have categorised my reading time into the category of self-love.




What exactly is self-love and why is it trending so much? Whenever I open my Instagram account, my feed is flooded why is it important to engage in self-love. Why was there a need to coin the term “self-love”.


A few years back, I would have said I read because I love to read. Simple, isn’t it? Now, it is like an escape mechanism, it’s like a tool to process the day, to monitor my words and actions, to be calculative. The carefree nature, the innocence is gone, now it’s all about how to protect my thoughts, my actions, my peace. It’s about engaging in self-love. Why? Because, perhaps deep inside our heart, we know we have no one to love us? We know that, and then, we build these walls, brick by brick, to say, we do not need anyone to love us, we engage in the act of self-love.




I wonder what was the need to come with this term “self-love”? A person who truly loves oneself does not need this term. He/She is engaging in certain activities because they like doing it, and they are having fun. How stupid does it sound that I am reading because I love to read; it’s an act of self-love. That’s stupid! That’s betraying yourself. If you actually love yourself, you don’t really need to justify your actions as actions taken for engaging in self-love. You don’t really need the term if you are being loved and you are truly yourself.


Most of the time, someone is asked to engage in the act of self-love when they feel they are lonely, when they feel no one loves them. It makes me wonder if engaging in the act of self-love, by labelling it as self-love is really an action taken to hide the loneliness. Can self-love really fill the void that you feel or is it simply a distraction created to shout at the world that I don’t need love, coz I have self-love.




Is self-love enough? At the end of the day, when you are done engaging in the acts of self-love, what’s next? Does the thought that no one really loves you escape your mind? Does the feeling that you fulfilled your own needs and requirements with the so-called act of self-love is fulfilling? Does the thought that no one is really there for you stop pinching you?




Recently, I read a book by Freud. If we talk about self-love with him, I am sure he would surely throw a question to you, why do you exactly feel the need of engaging in self-love? Is it because you love yourself or is it because you had to love yourself because no one else does?



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